I have a problem. Well, it's really only a problem for Ghost. When we finally decide to go to bed at night, I occasionally decide I need to get chatty. This drives him insane, but he usually ends up laughing hysterically. Or ripping all of the blankets off of me (my pet peeve) and telling me to shut the fuck up and go to sleep. Last night was one of those nights. It went a little something like this:
*you have to imagine the conversation below in only whispers*
Me: Hey
Ghost: What?
Me: Did I ever tell you about the time I was on a boat in the ocean in Japan and I was harpooning whales?
Ghost: You were never on a Japanese whaling boat. Shut the fuck up.
Me: How the fuck do you know? You don't know shit, you curly headed fuck! The boat was called the Nishin Maru. I harpooned a whale. It's really interesting because...
Ghost: It's not interesting. It's made up. Go to sleep.
Me: Hey...
Ghost: What?
Me: Once, I was on the Savannah and I got dumped by my tour group. So I took up with a pack of lions. They taught me to hunt, and roar and I took down a gazelle!
Ghost: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Me: I hate you.
Ghost: Yeah, well, the feelings mutual. Go to sleep or I'm gonna kill you.
Me: Hey...
Ghost: Oh my god, what?
Me: what temperature did you turn the thermostat up to?
Ghost: 72, why?
Me: It's too hot. It's like Satan's butthole. What was it at before you turned it up?
Ghost: 70
Me: How many goddamn times do I have to tell you, one degree. That's all it should ever get turned up or down. You should get up again and turn it down.
Ghost: Fuck off.
Me: Ok.
8 other skanks said...:
I take sleeping pills and find that right as they are kicking in, minutes before I fall asleep, I start saying random (and pretty much obvious things) like "hey, did you know that cats are soft?". My husband loves it, or not, yeah probably not.
Lorna, that's completely awesome. I've done that before when I was like half asleep. I just randomly say stuff like, "my cousin thinks she's black"
Lorna: he hates it. Trust me.
Ghost - you love my sweet talking
Not sure what I love more:
"It's like Satan's butthole"
Ghost telling you to shut the fuck up (and, I can totally imagine the entire conversation in whispers).
or
Ghost responding to someone's comment that her husband hates it and to trust him.
We'll just say I love it all!
LOL Thanks Kellie!! As much as he acts like I annoy him, he loves the shit out of that special time.
No, slutbucket, I do not.
And now, I'm DYING at him referring to his wife as "slutbucket".
You guys are awesome!
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