Good Morning From Texas!

It is I! J! Bow before me in all my glory! Bring me jewels and gold and virgin sacrifices!

Well, hell. At least bring me some Diet Dr. Pepper and some damn snacks for fuck's sake.

As you all may (or may not) know, our beloved DPH has today and Monday off of work.

And since she loves me so much, she is allowing me free reign on her blog. (You did, I promise, DPH. I don't think you were drunk, so you should remember this.) This means I get to talk about all of my hooker-ish ways and say anything I want. Do you know why? Because this is DPH territory, and I can talk about dildos, anal sex, porn and donkey shows all I want.

Except that, ewwwwwww! Donkey shows? Gross.

Let's start with my husband. The other day on my blog I mention how he is kick ass. Cool as shit. He pretty much rocks, and I'm not just saying that because he's got a big cock.

Okay, maybe I am.

But he sent me this card that I got yesterday and it was pretty much any wife's dream. The card itself was loving and emotional and sweet. In the card? Was a three page letter. A follow-up, or sequel if you will, to a letter I had written him a while back.

It was porn. Yeah, my baby is sexy and writes me dirty letters! How much more can you ask for? I mean, come on! I cried when I read the card, and then I got to read his sexy letter. Man, yesterday was a good day. Thanks, honey!



So, then today I get on the internet do-dee-doo-de-doo..... lookin around. *whistling* And what do I see? Fuckin David Duchovney is in rehab for sex addiction. Yeah, that's right. Mulder is addicted to the lovin'. How sad is it that he had to enter rehab? I mean, really? Just go fuck your wife.

I knew that Tea Leoni couldn't make him happy. I tried to tell him that I could make him happy and show him my X Files when I was younger. Did he listen? Nope. Sorry 'bout your luck there Agent Mulder. I could have prevented this, but you chose otherwise.

Now, really. Is there such a thing as being 'addicted' to sex? Because to me it always just sounded like an out for men who cheat a lot and fuck a lot of hookers. Maybe it's just me, though. What do you think?



Oh god. I just remembered I was watching Clerks II last night, and Jason Mewes was in it. (Of course.) He does this thing, where he is standing next to Mooby's with his coat wide open, no clothes on, and his dick tucked between his legs. LOL. I tried to get a picture of it, but I guess no one in Internetland has one. Surprising. Sad, too, because I thought DPH's bog would look good today with a picture of a man with his dick tucked between his legs on it.

I effing love Jason Mewes........ huh? what?where was I? Oh yeah. Sorry. Was off in dream land for a minute there. Well, I am off to finish my movie and drool over my favorite movie stoner.



To end my (brief) guest post here, let me leave you with this. It's all I could think of that you all could relate to. It is a link to my favorite online porn/sex toy shop. Have fun shopping!

PS. Now I get to put labels on here. I am going to label it with all of the funniest labels DPH has.